What I wish I'd known before having children
newborn photographer
If you’re already a parent, you’ll know that no matter how much you research into having children, NOTHING will ever fully prepare you for what’s to come.
If you’re yet to become a parent but think you know what lies ahead, think again! You don’t! You have no idea! haha
I thought it would be funny to ask fellow parents what the one thing is they wish they’d known before having children AKA if someone could have warned them about something in particular, what would it be?
I’ve even included one of my own….I won’t highlight which one specifically, but if you know me well you’ll know! 😉
Happy reading!
- Before having kids, never complain about being tired – you’re absolutely not!
- You will never pee (or poo) alone again!
- Your vagina isn’t the only thing that can tear!
- Never agree to sniff your child’s finger, especially if they’ve been suffering from an ‘itchy bottom’!
- Ear plugs are essential to block out the constant cries of “Mummmmmyyyyy”
- Three is two children too many!
- Lower your expectations….like, a lot!!
- No-one tells you to think beyond the baby months – the pre-school years are intense!
- You will learn to love coffee!
- They’ll have a cold constantly and a tummy bug at least once a month….which you will then also catch!
- Childcare costs are a joke!
- Babies don’t want to be put down but that’s OK / totally normal!
- Sleep/rest as much as you can whilst pregnant, because once that baby comes you will be “hella tired!”
- Don’t read the books – they don’t have a ‘what to do when your baby won’t sleep’ section!
- Babies don’t just go to sleep when they are tired!
- Kids are tw*ts!
- Baby brain never goes away!
- They don’t sleep properly for years – it’s not just the first year that’s tough!
- The more babies you have, the worse the retraction of your uterus is!
- When you’ve changed the nappy and think you should be fine for a little while….think again!
- Repetition of swear words comes at an earlier age than potty training!
- You’ll fall in love with the little things like the smell of their head and cheesy feet!
- Kids will eat their own poo….and not even flinch about it either!
- What worked well with you first child won’t necessarily work with subsequent children!
- Mums of boys, be prepared for the question ‘Why don’t you have a willy?’
- Wrinkly belly skin is a thing, no matter how toned you were pre-children.
- It’s called a family bathroom because the whole family will be in there while you’re trying to go to the loo!
- Time speeds up at a scarily fast pace, which also means you age!
- At some point you will use your hands to catch bodily fluids that don’t belong to you!
- Baby blues – that hormone crash that comes a few days after giving birth!
- When you sneeze you need to cross your legs…and don’t even think about going on a trampoline!
- It goes by too fast…..have all the cuddles! <3
What us mums really want for Mother's Day
newborn photographer
It’s that time again – Mother’s Day!
The one day of the year when us mums actually receive some appreciation for everything we do 😉
If we’re lucky, we might also receive a gift of some sort. And whilst flowers and chocolates are nice (and always welcome, especially the latter), there are a few things us mums would REALLY like this Mother’s Day….
- Sleep.
Through the night. A lie in. Maybe a daytime nap. I’ll take any of the above, as long as they’re in my bed, uninterrupted and for at least eight hours (I’ll settle for two for the nap!)
2) A wee/poo in peace
Door shut, radio on, preferably no-one else even on the same floor as me, let alone in the actual room. I don’t want to hear moans of “mummmmmy” through the door. I definitely don’t want to hear “Hurry up, I need a poo too” because there’s nothing worse than feeling rushed but also worrying about what might happen on the landing carpet if you don’t. I’m thinking a good 15-20 minutes (like the men take) where I can peruse my phone and re-centre myself ready for the chaos that will ensue as soon as I unlock the door.
3) A bath
With bubbles – the ones in the water and the ones that go in a champagne flute. Again, on my own. Again, door locked. I want to lie down, shut my eyes and soak in silence – not open them to see one of my (three) naked children next to the tub holding a bath bomb and saying ‘budge up’!
4) A massage.
Wishful thinking I know but hey, a girl can dream right?!
5) A shopping trip
Once more, alone (can you see a trend emerging here?). Where I’m mostly shopping for myself, not for a male (we have four in our household so it’s safe to say I’m somewhat outnumbered on the gender ratio). I want to be able to look around Primark without shouting ‘Don’t touch that, stop fighting, no you don’t need another superhero T-shirt, get off the floor!’
6) A hot drink.
The key word here being ‘hot’. Not luke warm after I made it 20 minutes ago but got distracted by requests for snacks, refereeing a fight between my oldest two or needing to wipe a bum (feel free to take bets on whose).
7) Silence
Even if just for half an hour (preferably doing one of the above). I just want a small fraction of the day where I don’t hear the word “mummy”! Please. Is that so much to ask?!
8) For the clocks NOT to go forward
Seriously, what kind of evil f*cker (obviously a man) decided we would lose an hour’s sleep ON MOTHER’S DAY?! I mean, COME ON!!
9) A designer handbag
Because let’s face it, you’d never say no to a nice new handbag. And actually, there’s probably more chance of getting one of these than any of the above anyway!
10) A family photoshoot
You didn’t think I’d get through a whole blog post without a tiny bit of self-promotion did you? 😉
Despite desperately wishing for all of the above, the reality is us mums adore our kids (99% of the time) and we wouldn’t actually want to change them (50% of the time)! So what better gift than some gorgeous photos of you all together to plaster over your walls….preferably in the toilet so you can enjoy looking at them whilst enjoying your 20 minutes’ ‘poo in peace’ time – I’m asking a lot there aren’t I?!
So dads, if you’re reading this and you’re yet to buy your (better) half a gift, pop me a message and we can discuss photoshoot gift vouchers….it might even get you out of the massage 😉
