Mother’s Day

It’s that time again – Mother’s Day!

The one day of the year when us mums actually receive some appreciation for everything we do 😉

If we’re lucky, we might also receive a gift of some sort. And whilst flowers and chocolates are nice (and always welcome, especially the latter), there are a few things us mums would REALLY like this Mother’s Day….

1. Sleep.

Through the night. A lie in. Maybe a daytime nap. I’ll take any of the above, as long as they’re in my bed, uninterrupted and for at least eight hours (I’ll settle for two for the nap!)

2) A wee/poo in peace

Door shut, radio on, preferably no-one else even on the same floor as me, let alone in the actual room. I don’t want to hear moans of “mummmmmy” through the door. I definitely don’t want to hear “Hurry up, I need a poo too” because there’s nothing worse than feeling rushed but also worrying about what might happen on the landing carpet if you don’t. I’m thinking a good 15-20 minutes (like the men take) where I can peruse my phone and re-centre myself ready for the chaos that will ensue as soon as I unlock the door.

3) A bath

With bubbles – the ones in the water and the ones that go in a champagne flute. Again, on my own. Again, door locked. I want to lie down, shut my eyes and soak in silence – not open them to see one of my (three) naked children next to the tub holding a bath bomb and saying ‘budge up’!

4) A massage.

Wishful thinking I know but hey, a girl can dream right?!

5) A shopping trip

Once more, alone (can you see a trend emerging here?). Where I’m mostly shopping for myself, not for a male (we have four in our household so it’s safe to say I’m somewhat outnumbered on the gender ratio). I want to be able to look around Primark without shouting ‘Don’t touch that, stop fighting, no you don’t need another superhero T-shirt, get off the floor!’

6) A hot drink.

The key word here being ‘hot’. Not luke warm after I made it 20 minutes ago but got distracted by requests for snacks, refereeing a fight between my oldest two or needing to wipe a bum (feel free to take bets on whose).

7) Silence

Even if just for half an hour (preferably doing one of the above). I just want a small fraction of the day where I don’t hear the word “mummy”! Please. Is that so much to ask?!

8) For the clocks NOT to go forward

Seriously, what kind of evil f*cker (obviously a man) decided we would lose an hour’s sleep ON MOTHER’S DAY?! I mean, COME ON!!

9) A designer handbag

Because let’s face it, you’d never say no to a nice new handbag. And actually, there’s probably more chance of getting one of these than any of the above anyway!

10) A family photoshoot

You didn’t think I’d get through a whole blog post without a tiny bit of self-promotion did you? 😉

Despite desperately wishing for all of the above, the reality is us mums adore our kids (99% of the time) and we wouldn’t actually want to change them (50% of the time)! So what better gift than some gorgeous photos of you all together to plaster over your walls….preferably in the toilet so you can enjoy looking at them whilst enjoying your 20 minutes’ ‘poo in peace’ time – I’m asking a lot there aren’t I?!

So dads, if you’re reading this and you’re yet to buy your (better) half a gift, pop me a message and we can discuss photoshoot gift vouchers….it might even get you out of the massage 😉